you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
