I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
