Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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