I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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