Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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