i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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