i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
