Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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