whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize