i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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