that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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