His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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