I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
