in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
