your thong is hanging out like whoa
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
