yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
