office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
