you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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