you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
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