i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
