I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
