she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
