i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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