We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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