dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
