The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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