he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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