this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
