you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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