i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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