eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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