i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize