just come out here and I will go home with you...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
