Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
