I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
