Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize