thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Church boner. Awkwardddd
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize