laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
