If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
