oh god the rape fog is back!
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
