u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
