We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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