make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
