i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
