Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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