I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
All the doctor said was why
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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