Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
