Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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