Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
