Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
