forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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