Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
