you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
