After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My liver just had a heart attack.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
