Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
