I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
