i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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