we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
