Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
