Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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