Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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