Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
