cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
