When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
